Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Funny Laws

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an
engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a
flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle
arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

One Liners

Two rights do not make a wrong.
They make an airplane.

If at first you don't succeed,
destroy all evidence that you even tried.

I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car

People who say you can't buy happiness
just don't know where to shop.

Join the army
Travel the world,
Meet interesting people
And kill them.

The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population.

'm not tense,
just terribly, terribly alert.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom.
Sometimes age comes alone.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Funny Surveys

A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
C) The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
D) The Italians drink generous amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.


2.A World wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?'

The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant, In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant, And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant…!!!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Visit frnds profile without being his/her recent visitor

Login orkut through Mobile Orkut

and visit anybody's profile
without letting that person know...

Increase your fan rating and send testimonial to yourself

send testimonial to yourself

1.Go to friend page
2.Invite any non existing email.
3.click back on friend page
4.click on edit in front of that user...
5.edit your email in replace.
6.send new invite
7.log out
8.log in and now you will get a frnd request from your account do not add yourself
9.repeat process 1 to 7 again...
10.log in and now you will find yourself being added to your account...
11.now copy the write testimonial url for any other profile
12.replace the uid no of your profile in the url
13NOw you will have a testimonial page ...Just write it on and you can send yourself the testimonial....
Additional Faayede

Increase your fan by being the fan of yourself...


To make you guyz sure that this trick works ...This is my orkut profile check it out yourself Orkut-Mohit

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Amazing Math Trick

you can use this online calculator :-- calculator


This math trick will determine your birthday. Just follow the steps with a calculator and press equal after each step


1. Add 18 to your birth month
2. Multiply by 25
3. Subtract 333
4. Multiply by 8
5. Subtract 554
6. Divide by 2
7. Add your birth date
8. Multiply by 5
9. Add 692
10. Multiply by 20
11. Add only the last two digits of your birth year
12. Subtract 32940 to get your birthday!


The answer's format is: month/day/year. For example, an answer of 123199 means that you were born on December 31, 1999

This Math Trick will determine your phone number

1. Grab a calculator (You won’t be able to do this one in your head)
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code-if your number is 01-123-4567, the 1st 3 digits are 123)
3. Multiply by 80
4. Add 1
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again
8. Subtract 250
9. Divide number by 2

well the answer seems a bit familiar ...haha its your phone number

Lock your private folder without any software

Here is step-by-step guide to achieve that.

>Copy the following text file which contains the program code:-

Lockcode.txt

>Paste the above code in notepad or create a new text document by right clicking on your desktop and selecting New->Text Document.

>Replace “type your password here” with your password in the code you just pasted on the notepad. DON’T FORGET THIS.



>Now convert that .txt file to .bat extension..

> Now you can see a MS-DOS BATCH file you just created. See the picture below:-



> Double click on it to create a new folder named “Locker“.

> Now put all files and folders you want to protect in to this new folder “Locker“.

> Double click that BATCH file again to lock the folder “Locker”. It will disappear as soon as it gets locked.

> If you want to unlock that folder, double click the BATCH file again. You will be prompted for the password, enter the correct password and that folder “Locker” will then be appear which is easily accessible by you.

That’s it. You are done.

Problem in formating PenDrive ?

Sometimes we find some error in formating pendrive

>Rt click on computer
>manage
>disk management
>right click on pen drive
>change drive letters and paths
>Remove
>plug pendrive out
>plug in pen drive
>Format...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

SMS HACKS for Airtel and Reliance

Airtel
Change Msg centre no. to
+919845086020


RELIANCE CENTER NO.
change it to +919863002222


NOTE:Ur Balance must be 0

Bestest Jokes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,


Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Little Johnny

At school little Johnny's class is learning about medicines. Sister Catherine, the teacher, asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for.

The first pupil said: 'Tylenol?'

'Very good! And what is it used for?'

'It is used for a headache.'

The second pupil said: 'Nytol.'

'Excellent!' said Sister Catherine. 'And what it is used for?'

'To help you sleep', replied the student.

Now it is Johnny's turn and he said: 'Viagra.'

'And what is it used for, Johnny?' asked the surprised Sister catherine.

'It is used for diarrhea.'

'And who told you this, Johnny?'

'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father 'take a viagra, and maybe that shit will get harder.''

Sister Catherine fainted.L



Little Johnny's Magazine


One day Little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was *highly* upsetting to her. She hid the magazine until his father got home. When Little Johnny's father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, "THIS is what I found in "your" son's closet."

He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.

Several minutes passed, then she finally asked him,

"Well what should we do about this?"

Little Johnny's dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

Cool Javascripts




CRAZY cool javascript : Edit whatever you want on ANY page : Images, Text.

javascript:document.body.contentEditable='true'; document.designMode='on'; void 0


THE CALCULATOR


want to use your browser as a calculator?

just try this javascript ....


javascript: alert(34343+3434-222);

make edits for different operations...


FINDING SPOOF WEBSITES

There are times when you are not sure that the website that you are visiting is authentic. Use this code whenever in doubt :-

javascript:alert("The actual URL is:\t\t" + location.protocol + "//" + location.hostname + "/" + "\nThe address URL is:\t\t" + location.href + "\n" + "\nIf the server names do not match, this may be a spoof.");

Plz comment if you find it cool

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Collection of Indian celebrities who blog

Aamir Khan
Indian film actor, director and producer. Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak, Laagan, Rang De Basanti, Taare Zameen Par,3 Idiots are some of his popular movies.He is also known as Mr. Perfectionalist for his perfections ...

Abhay Deol
Indian film actor. Got critical acclaim for his movies Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye, Dev.D

Abhinav Bindra
Indian shooter from Punjab and is the current World and Olympic champion in the 10 m Air Rifle event and first Indian to win an individual gold medal at the Olympic Games

Ajay Devgan
An Indian National Film Award-winning actor

Amitabh Bachchan
Indian film actor and one of the most prominent figures in the history of Indian cinema

Amrita Rao
Indian model and Bollywood actress

Anupam Kher
Actor in Hindi films in India and was the chairman of the Indian Film Censor Board

Anurag Kashyap
Award-winning Indian director and screenwriter. His last two movies are Dev D and Gulaal.

Bipasha Basu
Bollywood actress and a former model

Celina Jaitley
Indian actress and a finalist in the Miss Universe 2001

Cyrus Broacha
MTV India VJ and is famous as a stand-up comedian and prankster, best known for his show Bakra on MTV

Dev Benegal
Is an Indian director. Won awards for his first movie English, August

Dino Morea
Indian actor and model

Emraan Hashmi
Indian actor who is also known as the Serial Kisser

Farhan Akhtar
Indian filmmaker, script writer, actor, playback singer, lyricist, film producer, and television host. His debut movie Dil Chahta Hai was a super hit and still popular among the youngsters

Gul Panag
Bollywood actress and former beauty queen who has competed in the Miss Universe pageant

John Abraham
Bollywood actor and a former model

Karan Johar
Indian film director, producer, and TV celebrity. His movies Kuch Kuch Hota Hain, Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna are very popular.

Koena Mitra
Indian actress and former model

Krishnamachari Srikkanth
Former captain of the Indian cricket team and the current chairman of the selection committee

Kunal Kohli
Hindi film director who gave the hit movie Hum Tum

Nandita Das
Award-winning Indian film actress and independent filmmaker

Madhavan
Famous Indian actor. Known for his roles in Rang De Basanti, Guru, Mumbai Meri Jaan and 3 Idiots

Nana Patekar
Highly acclaimed Indian actor and filmmaker. Has won many Filmfare awards for his roles.

Pooja Bedi
Former Bollywood actress and currently a television talk show host

Rahul Bose
Indian actor, screenwriter, film director, social activist, and rugby union player

Rahul Khanna
Indian actor. Has acted in the movies Earth, Dil Kabaddi, Love Aaj Kal

Ram Gopal Varma
Indian film director, screenwriter and producer who is known for his movies Rangeela, Satya, Company



Rohit Roy
Indian television star known for his roles in Des Mein Niklla Hoga Chand & Swabhimaan. He has also acted in some movies and also directed a mini movie named Rice Plate in the movie Dus Kahaniyan

Salman Khan
One of the Superstars in Bollywood. He has a very large fan following and famous among the ladies. Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, Tere Naam, No Entry and Partner are some of his famous movies

Sanjay Suri
Indian actor. My Brother… Nikhil, Jhankaar Beats, Sorry Bhai! are some of his movies

Shahrukh Khan
Indian actor, who has been a prominent Bollywood figure, as well as a film producer and television host. He is called the Badsaah of Bollywood and has a huge fan following throughout the world

Shekhar Kapur
Indian film director and producer. Directed the critically acclaimed movie Bandit Queen. His Hollywood movie Elizabeth has won 2 Oscar awards.

Sherlyn Chopra
Indian model, singer and bollywood actress

Shilpa Shetty
Indian film actress and model and the winner of British show Celebrity Big Brother

Shobhaa DeShobhaa De
Renowned Indian columnist and novelist

Sudhir Mishra
Indian film director and screenwriter. Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi is one of his critically acclaimed movies

Vikram Bhatt
Bollywood director. 1920, Raaz, Ghulam are some of his popular movies

Deepak Chopra
Indian physician and author who has written extensively on spirituality and diverse topics in mind-body medicine

c00l wallpapers for your desktop

Wallpapers are a great way to express your mood. Changing your wallpaper also helps to change your mood. Do take a look at these wallpapers and use the ones that you like






























Saturday, January 9, 2010

Funny Quotes

Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners....:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble
putting on your pants.

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper
tray and the blinking red light.

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who
invented the other three, he was the genius.

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

20.. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder..

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again,
neither does Milk.

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Funny Pics


man of the year award winner



offline wikipedia
























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